The other day I was chatting with a friend and we were goofing off about daydrinking in New York City. My response was "As long as I don't end up in Bellevue again". She was baffled by this. I thought I had told her this story. To the point that I searched throughout this blog to see if I had told the story and it happens that I didn't. I will apologize. Because this is one of those anecdotes that one tells to display ones mettle or self-defense or something powerful and inspirational. And waking up handcuffed to a hospital bed is not a usual way to wake up in the NYC.
One May day in 2013, I was visiting a friend in NYC. He gave me keys to his apartment and I was given free reign. It was my second day in the big city. I was going from restaurant to restaurant seeing the sites. It got to the point where I didn't know to much else to do in the Big City. So, I went on Grindr to look for someone to show me to all the gay spots. From there me and this hot ginger went all over the place going to different bars and such. With our night ending at a Greek restaurant where we ate a lot of food and drank a LOT of Ouzo.
From there it gets a bit hazy...
I remember walking back to my buddy's house (or at least en route). I stopped because I was listening to a song on my iPod and a song caught me right in the drunken feels. I practically collapse into tears. And once I got my composure I was surrounded by what looked to be spirits/ghosts. I must have been hallucinating because I started firing an imaginary bow and arrow to ward them off.
Unbeknownst to me, some passerby saw me going through my crying fit and called the cops or the ambulance on me because the spirits turned into a bunch of cops who had me surrounded. One of them tackles me to the ground (which I remember congratulating him on because I was a rugby player at the time).
Fast forward: I wake up handcuffed to a hospital bed. I'm super hungover. Hungover to the point of my mouth is dry, bright lights annoy me and sound is painful. And I didn't want to fuss with people. And that is what I had to do on this fine Sunday morning. Especially with the owner of the handcuffs walking towards me as he noticed that I am awake.
I was taken to the head to urinate and then taken to this room with a single light. I was sat down at a table and this squeaky little lady sat down across from me. She identifies herself as a psychologist and hands me a toxicology report which states I was at a .095 BAC (which is the highest I've seen it) and there were no traces of date rape drug in my system.
She opens a small folder and proceeds to reads off a list of things I did after the spectacular rugby tackle:
1) forced the officers post tackle to call my mom to let her know that I am ok
2) tried multiple times biting the EMT that took me
3) hit on/flirted with everyone
4) claimed that my necklace held magical powers and refused to let anyone take it off
5) tried twice to "Hulk" out of my restraints (reason for the handcuffing)
6) spoke in 5 different languages asking for a beer
7) sang a lullaby and fell asleep
As this lady is reading off these incidents I'm flash backing pretty hard and realize "wow, I drank a lot". To which she adds, "you are in the psych ward of Bellevue Hospital" and in the back of my mind I heard a check fall into a box. This is the story of all stories.
I'm very sorry for not sharing this sooner. It's a big fish kind of story where I tell it at parties or at the bar to impress a group of people or tell a story to make others laugh.
Tell me what you think in the comments below. And if you want me to write me stuff like this and more let me know. I don't mind telling a story or two.