Sith Creed

"Peace is a lie. There is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken."
-the Sith Creed

04 October 2012

Crossroads and Deadlines: Rebuild

Over the past three months, I have been through some troubling times. Most of the deadlines were met. All of the crossroads were traveled. I name this post rebuild because everything was shaken to the foundation because of Crossroads and Deadlines.

At the foundation, I am a player on the Charlotte Royals, an all gay and inclusive rugby team. It has been the best release from most of the pain I could ever endure from a relationship. One of the crossroads encountered was a wonderful man. We dated all the way up till about a month ago. He told me that he "couldn't provide me with what I was wanting." I was crushed and sickened. He provided me with what I wanted: someone to be there for me. I thought that was simple. We were to give each other protection, laughter, company, a body to hold while sleeping and a heart to share. What was wrong with that?

So, in retaliation and to spare my heart from any more pain, I decided to take on physical pain. It heals faster and I know where and what caused the pain. Plain and simple. My passion was taken for granted in the bed but it will never be on the pitch. I scored my first try during my first game on the 15th of September. It felt amazing. I crashed through tackles, made tackles, and ran my ass off. But that is not the half of it...

More to come.

24 June 2012

Deadlines and Crossroads: Day 3

Made that Uptown money today... Gonna have a good day tomorrow.

22 June 2012

Deadlines and Crossroads: Day 2

So I went and took care of my vehicle registration today. I actually made enough money yesterday to foot the bill. But also on a side note. I was taken to a very angry place. I had to scream my frustrations out of me. It was pretty epic. But later on I was able to regain my composure and have a very successful night working.

So successful, I was given the chance to wait on the band Tonic. Yeah, I know. The same Tonic. I didn't believe it at first but I talked to Rob today and he told me who they were and helped me piece together who I met. Something told me to look them up last night but I was in such a lousy mood that I pushed to the back of my mind. Hell they even invited me to go to their show. Which I should but only have enough money for DnB or them.

I don't know if you could tell but I am in a much better mood.

21 June 2012

Deadlines and Crossroads: Day 1

11:12 am
A glimmer of light flickered in a familiar corner. I basked in its warmth. I chuckled at its familiarity. I longed to let it bring be back to the surface. Its face and smile something I have not felt in a long time. I let the light sparkle and then fade, welcoming the darkness back in once more.

12:45 pm
The beast within hungers. I can't feed him until my day's mission is complete. I hope its hunger does not slow me down.

2:27 pm
The beast has been fed yet still hungers. I have given it all it needs. Maybe a midday nap will calm it down a bit. There is no telling...

20 June 2012

Deadlines and Crossroads: Day 0

I have stripped my face of my smile
I glare at people with a hateful scowl
I strangle every drop of sweat with an abrasive towel.
I collapse into a robe of flesh and torment
I relapse into a globe of dregs and lament
Hope is the plaque I scrape from my teeth.

Treasured, the smiles and positive thoughts
Buried and found, the falsest of worn out wrought
That day, that chapter, the first time I was dismayed
is now a fragment of illusion dismantled and frayed
I can smell your fear, thick like rain
I can smell your lust, a stench like pain
I can feel your thrust, quenched while I'm slain
I can fuel your thirst, yet you drink my bane
I can end your hurts, but my emotions you drain
Hope is a rejection you cannot explain.

Deadlines and Crossroads...

I am on a very wonderful journey. It is taken me back into the shadows. Back into the darkness, so to speak. It is a place that I never intended to return. Over the next month, I will be exploring that darkness and try to post some insight of what I have found. I may become a different person in the process. I may remain the same. The one thing I do know is this reversion will better me. 

The universe is trying to take away some things from me. I refuse. The universe is also trying to force me into a place I desired to escape. I cannot let myself revisit that place. 

Bear with me as I travel down these possibilities and discover what is truly meant for me on the other side...

30 May 2012

One year later...

Good Morning,

As you know I have not been on many adventures lately. Mostly due to the fact that I am a university student, living in a country with a struggling economy and a bit undecided on where to visit this year. But I have enough faith to know that I will be able to have more Grand Adventures.

On the home front, I am very mild and reserved (most times). I enjoy having a good time and seek out those times. However, I enjoy traveling tremendously. Right now, I have in plans a trip back to the country of Georgia, another trip to the Alchemy Festival, a photography trip to Australia, and a trip to Russia.

So wish me luck on saving up for these trips because those are Grand Adventures.

11 March 2012

The Day I Planned World Domination


I sit on a thought, as I decide my fate. An action I should have sought on a side I should take. Regarding something I forgot but think of each night I am awake. This piece that I write is neither poem nor prose. It is a recollection of personal thoughts written in a style I chose.

There was a time in my life when I couldn’t read or write and I was afflicted with a stuttering blight. I do not remember the first word I read or the first sentence I could write. All I can remember is trying to gobble them all on sight. As with all tales, there needs to be a start; at the age of six I knew “Green Eggs and Ham” by heart. At a young age, I valued the lessons Seuss had to impart: never give up, stand up for the things that make you “you” and never be afraid to try something new. And with these ideals and lessons to know, I tilled the garden for my imagination and waited for the seeds to grow.

Like kudzu, it spread. Like kudzu, it grew. My imagination took root, of which I knew not what to do. I would stay up all night telling myself stories. They lacked sustenance and were really quite boring. I turned my imagination into a movable creature with a very unique feature. Whatever I saw or felt throughout the day, my imagination was allowed to use anything it wanted within the grounds of which it played. Saturday morning cartoons became the foundation of my creative base. The landscapes of He-Man dotted my mindscape. I fought off hordes of demons with the Sword of Omens. I had no damsel to save but my second in command was Soundwave. I learned the importance of morals, ethics, and the purity of good. I vanquished evil the best way I could.

A few years later in 1988, a horrific tragedy altered my fate. I was invited to an air show in the city of Rammstein. I watched the planes and jets dance within the sky. I was amazed and amused by the propellers and jet plumes. The Italian Air Force took the stage and performed their “Cardioide”. I watched as the jets traced a heart within the sky. At that point, my imagination took hold and flipped three of the jets about. They scattered pain and agony throughout. I saw people run for cover, run to family, and run for their lives. I pulled in a deep breath and for my mother I started to cry. At the moment of exhalation, I realized she was not there to save me or protect me. All I could muster were a string of “muhs”, stuttering and stammering were my only responses. I grew scared and nervous; unable to communicate my thoughts. My head resorted to “shakes and nods” and immediately encased my imagination within a cage made of locks.

I withdrew upon myself. Always frightened to express thoughts, I became shy and reserved. I didn’t speak unless it was necessary. And out of necessity, arose a strange way for me to speak. Words, I would rearrange, in order to prevent my stutters. Sense was not made by anyone. My parents even reprimanded my backwards speaking. Within the dark, I withdrew further into my thoughts. Questions arose whose answers were scary: “Did I cause that crash? How many were hurt? How should I feel? Why couldn’t I save them?” These questions and thoughts would keep me up at night. I toss and turn, eyes heavy and body trembling with fright.

A year and a half after my altered fate, still reading books and assimilating phrases, I was placed within an accelerated reader program. I was reading books three grades to my senior.  I was never scared of the tales I read. There was death and murder, mystery and disorder. I even found words placed outside of order. The Iambic Pentameter helped me keep time while Poe and his stories helped me to rhyme. From this darkness arose something similar to that of light. I wasn’t alone to tragedy’s endless plight.

I took pen to pad and started to write. I would spend my sleepless nights scribbling poems and then would carefully recite. I took deep breaths and pronounced every syllable at every step. I reinstated the words that would make me stammer, stutter and stumble. Within its cage, my imagination started to rumble. I released the locks and remembered what it was like to be free. Journals, I would keep to organize my thoughts. Poems gave me the self expression I sought. 

Over time, I felt the power of my poetry. Nothing was ever sacred to me. I said what I wanted. I said what I felt. First drafts became final drafts; while final drafts became masterpieces. After one poem was published, my mind began to swirl. Which is when I decided, with my writing, I would take over the world.