Wake n Bake diary 9

June 16 2020

(previously)

So it's hard to speak out about something I haven't experienced first hand.

So anyone who points out any racists in the porn industry, I will back up and add my voice.

And as with most things, there's always a matter of perspective. To be able to provide work for Black and POC models is a good and rewarding opportunity. However there's nothing preventing the racists from using their influence to cancel scenes or recast shoots.

But what can I truly say? Anything remotely racist was always in the next room over or taking place while I was in the shower or neatly off set. The same people, who hired me and kept the racist comments out of earshot, are hiring racist models with no desire to call them out either or prevent them from work.

Wake n Bake diary 8

June 13

All I have today is one of my favorite stories from my time in the military. 

Wake and Bake diary 7

June 12

It's 10:00 and I just finished a bowl of some really good weed and my first cup of coffee. I started back on this blog because I actually enjoy writing and this was to act as a way to stay connected to the people who follow me on social media. My return to the "Grand Adventures of the Bacon Bandit" was to serve as my social media break from being Osiris. On July 1st, I was going to make a grand return showing off the fruits of my labor.

And then George Floyd was murdered.

I was active on my SFW Twitter, so I was able to follow along, educate, donate, and petition. I'm extremely against systemic racism and enjoy watching people burn down the state and eventually calling out racists turned into a past time.

Earlier this I had a fan/supporter, send me a tweet and suggested that I should investigate the performer's intent and to root out his racist nature. And I did under my SFW account. Because I felt like Osiris was asked to champion for someone's crusade and I refuse to let my platform be used for/by others. From there, I realized that I can't speak out about racism in the porn industry.

Understand that 1) I had an agent who filtered racists away from me so I was never exposed, 2) of anyone said anything remotely racist in nature I said something then and there, 3) I feel like it was hidden away from me or kept just out if sight, and 4) some people can put on a good act. I was never told "racism doesn't exist in porn". I was never fully exposed to it. 

However, after firing my agent (for matters unrelated), that's when the ugly head of racism in the industry surfaced.

(Cont)

Wake n Bake diary 6

June 11

Biolyte and a blunt this morning. I'm a little hungover from drinking a few beers after my shift last night. I'm going to love my new job. Bartending has been a favorite of mine. Engaging with people and serving drinks.

I'm not going to make it known about my sexuality. That's going to be my gimmick. I love how inclusive the bar is.

Wake n Bake diary 5th entry

June 10

Some things have been developing.

I saved up money to get my own place. I put my car on the road. I started a new job. I've been going to the gym for the last two weeks.

Having a chance to disconnect and take care of myself has been beneficial. 

Wake n Bake diary 4th entry

June 9

This has been a year. Halfway through! 

I hope everyone has been able to sign petitions and donate to #blacklivesmatter We all need to seek an end to systemic racism and institutionalized poverty. The last few weeks has exposed some of the evil parts of this wonderful country.

Sidenote: I'm going to be extremely pissed if the MAGA premise is to ramp up racist institutions in order to destroy them.

I love America. I love being a Black American. I DO NOT love the deeply rooted systems that are in place to prevent anyone other than Whites access to equal and fair opportunities.

Wake n Bake diary: 3rd entry

Jun 4

What did You learn today?

I learned 

that am still not afraid to speak

my mind and my heart. 

I'm still the punk rock loving, queer boy who traveled the world.

I am a Black queer American.

I'm not a faggot.

I'm not a nigger.

I'm not a nigga.

I'm not a thug.

I'm not your "BBC".

I'm not DL or discreet.

I'm not your punching bag.

I'm not your scapegoat.

I'm not your suspicious activity.

And I'm not going to let you stop my breath.

How can you change the world?

Wake n Bake diary: Day 1

June 2

I just lost a friend on Facebook, and IRL, because of my view of systemic racism. He called it a fantasy.

Yes, my friend is a long time friend. He's white.  He's not racist in the least bit. 

He doesn't believe systemic racism exists because he's unaffected by it. The system is designed to not let him be affected by it, or even see it. And I'm not the least bit angry by it. I accepted his separation.

Wake n Bake Diary: day 0

It's technically almost evening time.

I've had a fairly busy day. And I've been putting off starting this. I made a reminder to myself to start today so that I can spend a month without going to Twitter, Instagram or Facebook first thing in the morning.

I had the opportunity to work on myself and my art and my writing and my projects and my photography and my reading.

And then George Floyd was murdered.

I never imagined something so malicious to be caught on video. I was sad that this scene (unarmed Black men being killed while in custody) is still around. Hardest part was explaining everything to my ten year old niece.